Game 2: The Bol'Gor Bison VS The Fire Breathing Rubber Duckies

After last week's 2-0 victory for the Chaos Crusaders over Skjøt i Ansiktet, the next teams to take the field were The Bol'Gor Bison (Daniel - Chaos) and The Fire Breathing Rubber Duckies (played by Jon - Human).

Turn 1:
The Bol'Gor Bison won the toss, and elected to kick to their opponents, putting the ball deep into Jon's half near his endzone, while a Chaos Warrior charged through the newly created gap towards the ball.

Turn 2: 

A large scrum forms

A human Thrower then picked up the ball and started off down his left flank. Seeing this, the  Bison moved to intercept, forming a rough scrum on the left side of the pitch. 

Turn 3:

As the Duckies tried to gain some more ground, a Chaos Warrior brutally knocked down the ball carrier, but failed to do any damage. 

Turn 4:
In the ensuing chaos, the Duckies tried to retrieve the ball, but failed, ending his turn. Al'Gor raced down the flank and successfully picked up the ball, while his teammates started knocking down their opponents. 

Turn 5:
A linesman desperately chased Al'Gor, but failed the tackle, and knocked himself over, leaving the beastman to cross the line undisturbed for the first Touchdown of the match.

Turn 6:
Dan restarted play with another deep kick, this time landing squarely in the centre of the pitch. Once again the Duckies went down the left flank, scooping the ball up and knocking over a beastman. The Bison retaliated by pushing a blitzer into the crowd, who proceeded to knock him out.

Turn 7:

Moments after this photo was taken, both linesmen were down.

The Duckies advanced slowly, but the ball carrier was blitzed by Tig'Gor(#4) and knocked down. Al'Gor(#8) then charged in and tried to foul him, but was sent off for his actions. 

Turn 8:
Both teams, sensing that no more touchdowns would be scored this half, tried to put the hurt on their opponents, but in a singular display of ineffectiveness failed to injure anyone at all.

SECOND HALF

Turn 9:

The knocked out blitzer stayed down for the first drive, which began with the Duckies kicking to their right (the Bison's left flank). Some reasonably effective blocking saw several men knocked down in the centre, while D'Udder'Gor damaged linesman #4's back, removing him from play. This melee continued until a beastman managed to knock himself down on the left flank.

Turn 10:
The Bol'Gor Bison kept the ball hanging back, and let the Chaos Warriors beat face in the centre, a task which they failed to complete - the only notable injury of the turn coming when a blitzer knocked out Minor'Gor (Beastman #11)

Turn 11:

The Bison begin their attack.

The Bison finally started advancing, carrying the ball down their left flank, while the humans headed them off. In the centre, the Duckies tried to roll up their opponent's line. This attempt failed when Lineman #5 blocked D'Udder'Gor, stunning him but knocking himself out in the process, and ending Jon's turn.

Turn 12:

Bludden'Gor (#9) pushed another blitzer into the crowd, who promptly stunned him; while Besti'Gor(#5), escorted by I'Gor(#7), continued his run only to be knocked down, leaving the ball loose.

Turn 13:

Bludden'Gor recovers the ball.

Tig'Gor(#4) promptly raced into the melee to recover the ball, scattering it away. I'Gor then pushed the hapless lineman into the crowd, who smashed his ankle (-1MA). Bludden'Gor then recovered the ball and ran through the Duckies' ineffective defence.

Turn 14:

Showboating about to end badly.

Bludden'Gor's run took him within reach of the endzone, but instead of scoring immediately, he began showboating. His comrades continued their campaign of aggression against their opponents - notably Besti'Gor fouled yet another blitzer, who was badly hurt. In a surprise display of personal skill, linesman #7 dodged away from the marauding beastmen and blitzed Bludden'Gor, knocking him into the crowd and stunning him.

The crowd throws the ball almost to the centre of the pitch.

The crowd then threw the ball all the way back to the halfway line, and blitzer #1 performed another dodge, successfully grabbing the ball and running it towards the opposing endzone. In a stunning reversal of play, the Fire Breathing Rubber Duckies now looked set to score.

Turn 15:

The Unfortunate blitzer, about to be chased down and injured.

Unfortunately for Duckies fans, the blitzer was soon flattened by Worsti'Gor(#6), and to add injury to insult, the beastman smashed his hand in the process. Tig'Gor then fouled linesman #6, badly hurting him. Linesman #7 then tried to block I'Gor, (#7), but knocked himself down. The ball remained loose in the centre of the pitch at the close of the penultimate turn.

Turn 16:
In a stunning display of flair; Hard'Gor(#10), who had yet to do anything noteworthy, picked up the ball and threw it to I'Gor(#7), who was still near the Duckies' endzone following the previous attack. The pass completed perfectly, and I'Gor carried the ball flamboyantly over the line for a second try, and the end of the game.

Although the Fire Breathing Rubber Duckies lost fairly heavily, they only suffered two major injuries, and so after a couple of weeks to recover will be back in the game.
The Bol'Gor Bison suffered no injuries, but at the end of the game a rapidly growing extra arm was spotted on I'Gor - reputedly a gift from the beastmen's Chaotic masters.

First Game! The Chaos Crusaders VS Skjøt i Ansiktet

The season kicked off this evening with a game between Max's Chaos Crusaders and Tom's Skjøt i Ansiktet. 

Turn 1:

The game began with the ball being kicked off and given to a bull centaur making way for early aggressive plays in which the dwarves smashed through the Norse lines. Meanwhile the Minotaur smashed the ankle of Leif Svenson and on the Norse side Sven (The yeti) succumbed to his animalistic urges and screamed at Frederick Barbarossa rather than hitting him. At the same time Knut Svenson rushed to tackle the centaur but was instead tripped by a sturdy dwarf and fell flat on his face.

Turn 2:

The Dwarves get off to a good start and break through the Norse line.

Philip Augustus sprinted as fast as he could towards the end zone completely unimpeded by any Norse players  while the hobgoblins ran rampant with 2 of them knocking down Norse linesmen on their own.  Frederick Barbarossa screamed back at Sven, which has since been scandalously revealed to be part of a conversation between the beasts who are suspected to be currently engaged in an intimate love affair.

Turn 3:

Philip Augustus scores an early touchdown.

Noticing that the centaur was out of range Harald Svenson opted to simply back-hand a hobgoblin into the crowd where he was promptly knocked out and Sven called back to Barbarossa just as his team was expecting a block. In an attempt to bring the game back towards the masculine art of face-smashing (or ansiktet skjøting) from the effeminate tactic of actually playing the ball, Brumhilde Svenson tried to take out a centaur but was swiftly put in her place by the retaliation. The drive came to a premature end as the centaur crossed the line for an early touchdown.

Turn 4:

Sven and Frederick roar at each other across the line of scrimmage.

Sven began the new drive by once again defying his coach’s advice and calling to his lover. Rolf Svenson carried the ball forwards into the soon to be chaotic line of scrimmage while Sven Svenson howled at the moon and then viciously ripped into Sigurd I, smashing his hand in the process. In response Frederick Barbarossa lashed out at nearby linesman Brumhilde, what Sven said is unknown but the result was not pretty. Richard the Lionheart took out the ball carrier with the help of Anselm of Milan. On the other side of the pitch a dwarf and goblin each knocked out their marks; a pair of linesmen, freeing them up to be able to sweep into the melee in the centre.

Turn 5:

2 werewolves and 3 linesmen worked together to bring down the Minotaur before kicking him as he lay there, knocking him. He didn’t wake up for the rest of the game. Seeing his beloved fall, Sven bellowed in rage, ran across the pitch and upturned Richard the Lionheart. On the flip side a dwarf charged and knocked out yet another linesman as the rest of the dwarf team spent the time standing back up.

Turn 6:

Sven chases after an unfortunate Dwarf.

Erik Svenson attempted to push Ghibellin across the pitch into the crowd but was cut short when the dwarf knocked Erik down. The fall was particularly bad as Erik smashed his knee on contact with the ground. Meanwhile on the other side of the pitch, Sven got distracted chasing Walter the Penniless whilst the dwarves and Norse fought over possession of the ball.

Turn 7:

The Norse knocked over two dwarves and a centaur in the melee over the ball allowing Jormungandr Svenson a perfect opportunity to pick it up and make a break for the endzone. To that end he spectacularly fumbled and knocked the ball into the crowd who swiftly threw it back into the centre of the pitch. Walter the Penniless attempted to make a getaway with the ball but tripped over in his haste. Despite this setback, he carried the ball far enough away that it was clear for everyone to see that no more touchdowns would be scored this half.

Turn 8:

While attempting to knock out Richard the Lionheart, Sven had a brief mental lapse and roared passionately for his missing love. Knut Svenson then attempted to knock out Pope Urban II but was taken aback by the unexpected strength of the small creature as he instead found himself on the floor.

SECOND HALF

Turn 9:

Hobgoblin and linesman face off.

The Norse came back to the game invigorated with Olaf Svenson returning to the pitch. With the new Dwarven line lacking a minotaur, the Norse front line led by Sven and Sven Svenson smashed through, with three dwarves getting knocked down but no serious injuries being inflicted. Rasmusen Svenson picked up the ball and followed closely behind the rampaging yeti. The hobgoblins, realising that the real action was happening in the centre moved to surround Sven, whilst Richard the Lionheart moved to cut off the ball carrier.

Turn 10:

Philip Augustus viscously barged past Brumhilde Svenson, knocking her out without even looking back to see the damage he caused. Back in the centre of the pitch Richard the Lionheart and Peter the Hermit began to surround Rasmusen Svenson and the original front line of dwarves stood up once more causing Sven to find himself surrounded.

Turn 11:

Sven was surrounded; all seemed lost as he was about to be dragged down by dwarves from all sides. Suddenly a heroic blitz by Jormungandr Svenson knocked one of the dwarves out of the way in order to allow Sven the room he needed to more easily handle the others, sadly however at that moment Sven remembered he had left the dinner on at home and roared in frustration at the world. Meanwhile the few Norse who remained on the pitch at this point cleared some space to allow Rasmusen Svenson to skilfully dodge away from the circle of hobgoblins and centaurs that had been slowly forming around him. However just as it looked like the men from the north were going to equalise, out of nowhere Philip Augustus came swooping in brutally crushing Rasmusen to death. Off to one side the dwarves managed to regroup and bring Sven down, still roaring after his burnt food.

Turn 12:

Norse casualties build up, including the recently concussed Sven.

Sven thought about getting back up and into the game but managed to get distracted again by something, it could have been anything; the thought of his love Barbarossa, his dinner or even the grass he was lying in. No one will ever truly understand a Yeti’s mind as he reverts to his animal instincts. The remaining Norse desperately attempted to bring down dwarves and goblins across the pitch but were universally unsuccessful, instead merely pushing them around a bit with a lacklustre attitude that can only be found by people who know they have lost. Meanwhile, seemingly the best centaur in blood bowl, Philip Augustus grabbed the ball and ran towards the endzone aiming for a second touchdown. Anselm of Milan took this opportunity to kick Sven in the head inflicting a serious concussion and another casualty on the rapidly depleting Norse team.

Turn 13:

Whilst Augustus ran past the remaining Norse, they attempted to chase after him but to no avail. The dwarves and goblins held the hardy folk of the north in check. Things seemed to be at their worst for the Norse.

Turn 14:

Augustus continued walking slowly towards the end zone, sensing that he had effectively already scored, and began showboating across the pitch whilst in the background the broken and battered Norse remnants fought off the encroaching dwarves and goblins.

Turn 15:

The sole remaining linesman furiously attempted to punch a goblin but tripped himself over and knocked himself out on the ground, many have since gone on to think he had it pretty good, not having to endure the jeering fans any longer. Augustus finally got bored of his evident victory and secured the touchdown.

Turn 16:

The last two Norse linesmen are mobbed by the Dwarves.

The drive began with just 2 Norse members on the line of scrimmage, with the rest of the team lying knocked out in the dugout. Staring down the dwarves defiantly having spent the recovery time dreading being piled on by dwarves, wishing they could just give up, their pride was far too great to accept defeat, so they continued to play. Both were swiftly taken out before the whistle blew.

The game ended with a crushing defeat for Skjøt I Ansiktet; 2-0 down with half the team badly hurt or worse and most of the rest knocked out. It was likely one of the less lively trips to the pub for the inevitable post-match drinking although I’m sure at least Sven Svenson would have enjoyed himself having been nominated for MVP on the team. Meanwhile the Chaos Crusaders celebrated a marvellous victory and thanked their chaotic masters for an excellent start to the season, especially for their MVP Philip Augustus who both scored twice and killed a man. 

But it is important that we remember the real winners here, Frederick Barbarossa and Sven who seem to have found true love in the most unlikely of environments. True love is rare, and true love between two slathering monsters is as rare as the proverbial four leaved clover. For some players at least, the match ended happily.